&the greying vision

Tuesday, November 13, 2007 10:43 PM

have she thought of why am i taking up a part time job?
is it really for the experiences?
A FUCKING NO!
it's to satisfy my needs and wants.
why would i want to go into a banquet when i can choose to work in a Cafe Del Mar?
SHE WOULD NEVER FUCKING UNDERSTAND!
the demanding her.
she would never understand how i feel.
the same old her would say, "i would give you money to buy"
she spoilt my beloved clothes.
she said that.
but how many time did she actually did that?!
i could say none.
she's giving me such a pathetic weekly allowance of 50 buck.
expecting me to pay for my own meals, photocopying.
yes, i admit that i'm a high spender.
but frankly speaking, 50 bucks per week, is seriously not enough, for a 18 year-old girl.

the only thing she would say to me when she saw my tan,
"quit your job before i quit for you"
DOES SHE EVEN KNOW WHY?
does she even ask me why i want to work in the first place?!
it all boils down to communication break down.
i could say that we don't interact.
NOT AT ALL.
she made me dread home.
staying at home simply means a day to rest.

tears always flow down unknowingly.
they're useless.
they can't solve anything for me.
maybe i'm the useless one.
unable to do things well.
too much failure.
too much that i cant handle them well.

yet i cant do anything to change the fact.
NOTHING.
so, you can conclude that cindy's useless.

fuck.

in conclusion, she'ld never know the pressure i'm facing.
neither will she understand.

tags replies
cels: thanks love. but if one day the probem ain't solve, it'll still be there. and i'll still be pondering over and over again. really thanks for being there! loves.

b: school's driving me nuts too. maybe it's gonna kill me too. ):

1thing2do3words4you.